Jonathan and I received an e-mail a while ago of fatal things to say if your wife is pregnant. My favorites are:
"I finished the Oreo's."
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
"Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get your own ice cream."
"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
Then I came across some common questions and answers during pregnancy. Maybe I'm the only one laughing, but my favorites are:
Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. Because you're fatter then they are.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
2 comments:
ha, those are too funny! I think I said or heard a few of those when I was pregnant. no joke!!
The oreo one is true in our house. It happened when I was pregnant with Marshall. You don't mess with me and my Oreos.
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