One Week...

In one week from today (if not sooner) I'll be holding our sweet baby boy. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm nervous about laboring without an epidural. I know, I know--roll your eyes if you want. Millions of women have done it before me. I keep telling myself that. I also keep telling myself that each contraction will bring me a step closer to holding my baby. I have been trying to re-wire my brain with positive thoughts about the potential pain I'll be feeling. Nonetheless, I'm still nervous knowing that I have very few options in the form of pain control. Perhaps I'm slightly tocophobic. Jonathan kindly asked me if I could find something other than his hand to squeeze--I almost broke his hand with Maggie, and I had an epidural with her :)

I'm nervous about being induced. I'd rather go on my own, but given the state of my blood the good doctor wants to be able to plan ahead. Preferably I should be off of my blood thinner for 24 hours before the little guy arrives, which is why I'm getting induced. My apprehension about being induced is that I don't want to be on pitocin. It made me sick before and I would like to be tethered to as few I.V.s and monitors as possible. Maybe I'm asking too much. I'll have a better idea of the game plan after my appointment on Tuesday.

I'm nervous about how Maggie is going to adjust. She has been really clingy and "hold-me, hold-me" lately. That's not going to work so well when I'm trying to hold/take care of a newborn. Maybe she's just squeezing in the last one-on-one undivided attention she can because she knows what's coming.

But, despite all my silly fears and concerns I am excited to bring this little spirit into this world, and I know it will all be worth it in the end.